The World is a Funny Place

The world is a funny place. As one person's laughter causes another to cry, the smoke of a burning city enlightens a brilliant faraway sunset, the newspaper arrives a day early for a stoned-drunk, motherfucker, who just wants the weather report to decide what to wear for his job interview.
The late morning city is quiet, and the commute a breeze. Our applicant drives with the radio off and composes an introductory remark, to make both a positive impression and set his interviewer at ease. Something that does not admit to any negative personal or professional qualities and sets the tone for a conversational sit down; for a job offer with perquisites, and does not lead to uncomfortable silences or hard questions about any negative personal or professional qualities.
Something like "Ha-ha-ha. I'm here about the positions listed on the company circular, any of them, or all of them sequentially." That'll catch them off guard, he thinks, and give a sense of my self-deprecating wit. Let them know I'm a team player, a calculated non-egomaniac. I am different from all these corporate fools I see in the sitcoms, blurring across a television screen, conniving, using too many words. It's the wit and situational humor that balance the emotional debt created by over-amplified commercial breaks, that keep an audience attentive, and he knows this well sees his and your omniscient narrator.
It's a lucky day. A parking space appears directly in front of the building. With time to spare he double checks the address to make sure he is in the right place. On the way to the door he cuff-buffs his shoes and brushes off the easily reachable sections of his practically-new suit jacket. He is an independent man, a free thinker. He is just the kind of guy who life has gifted with charm and non-attachment, only edgier than a natural Buddha.
The weather he has dressed for seems a few degrees too warm. Although the front door to the building is locked, he does not realize that his newspaper came a day early and it is Sunday afternoon. There is a closed up loading dock around the side of the building.

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